so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Randomize
