it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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