Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Randomize
