at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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