Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
