i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize