you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
