It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I touched a dick in church today
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
