well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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