Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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