I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
