Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
