We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
