So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
