He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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