As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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