meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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