should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
