I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
