Small penises have feelings too.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
