My room smells like vodka and shame
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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