I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
