have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
