TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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