Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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