Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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