lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize