office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
