I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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