I will die if light touches me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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