is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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