I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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