You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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