Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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