I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
