toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The police scanner is talking about you again....
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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