Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
