I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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