I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're too hungover to prance.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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