somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
