bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
