I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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