if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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