Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
