If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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