did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
