Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
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Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
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There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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