I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
