Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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