It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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