We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
dude. I can hear the air.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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