I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
