what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
