just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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