NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize