he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
