i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
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