Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
