she was so not down for the gang bang
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
